Life in the Slug Cupboard

£300 a month in Zone 2 LDN. There’s got to be a catch… and there was.

My bedroom has only enough space for a single bed (a single bed with springs that grind my back and hip every night). There is no space to put anything; my clothes are in cubby holes at the bottom and top of my single bed. The wall above my head in bed is slowly becoming thinner and the window has never been completely shut. It’s ok though, I have been able to deal with the maneuvers and squeezes past the washing basket and out the door every morning. That was up until a few weeks ago.

I was lying in bed and could hear something moving about underneath me. At first I thought it was mice, apparently this house has had problems in the past, but then it didn’t seem to be moving fast enough. I grabbed a torch left over from Reading Festival and shone it down on the small space between the bed and the wall and saw to my horror a SLUG.

For some weird reason I have always been afraid of boneless creatures. My biggest fear is an octopi and I’m sure you will agree with me when I say that slugs have octopus like qualities. They literally suck the fear out of everything.

This particular slug was bigger than my thumb and left a dirty silver trail behind it, covering my shoes. I managed to sift it out with some French book language book before going back to bed. Moments later the sound was back, there were more. I grabbed that handy torch one more time only to find not three but four more of the slimy bitches. I didn’t get that much sleep that night.

Since then I have heard the sounds a few more times and think about how much I NEED to get out of this Slug Cupboard.

So now it’s time to move.

Preferably East, where the cool kids hang.

The Slug Cupboard

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