My health has not always been my highest priority. My vegetarian diet is rather minimal due to the fact I really don’t enjoy eating that much. I eat two meals a day Monday to Thursday and usually only snack on a Sunday. What I lack in sustenance I make up in alcohol by well exceeding the weekly intake recommended by my doctor but I really blame that on the fact I have been living in summer for the last ten months and let’s face it, nothing beats a cold beer on a hot day. Thirdly I am a rather heavy smoker, I used to limit myself to just six cigarettes a day but after a complete change in my daily routine and after watching numerous clips of Lindsay Lohan smoking on Youtube I have unfortunately extended the daily smoking tally to around fifteen.
This week I developed a rather large and painful lump on my thigh. This is not the first time this has happened to me, in fact I would say that in the last 1.5 years I have had around thirty of these lumps with only two requiring surgery. My friends all said that these lumps were a result of my unhealthy lifestyle but I just put it down to the fact that I was catching the London Tube everyday which was filled with all sorts of bacteria. When visiting the doctor about these growths in the U.k they tested for a variety of diseases but were unable to provide me with any kind of explanation as to why I continually developing these painful abscesses, the only advice they gave me was to stop wearing tight trousers (yeah right).
The most recent growth has resulted in my third and fourth surgeries over consecutive days, I have awoken in cold sweats each morning and kept the person sharing my bed up all night as I have babbled deliriously in my sleep. The Australian doctor gasped when he first saw my new lump and his mouth grew even wider when I told him how often this had happened to me. Yesterday I had my bloods taken and for the first time in my life I am actually worried about my health and what the Doctor may say is wrong with me. Among the diseases listed they are now testing for include Hepatitis, HIV and diabetes. These results could have major implications on the way I live my life and if I have to make changes I believe this will severely impact on my happiness and increase the amount of yawns that will occur throughout my sober weekends.
This morning for breakfast I had two antibiotics, an anti-depressant, two pain killers and a multi vitamin, which is not a process I wish to continue for very much longer.
Please God, I know I haven’t always been the best human BUT I promise to be behave if you just let this be an iron deficiency…